Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Slap up along the head!

First I want to thank all you wonderful people for supporting me. It really does mean a lot! I want to know more about this BOOBs thing! Intriguing! The word BOOBs really caught my eye and it makes me giggle. I guess because how I was whining yesterday about not being able to see the weight loss on me. I guess when I really think about it I can. I knew I could see it in my boobs. Now instead of nice big, round melons I have grapefruit in a pair of tube socks. You get the picture.......saggy titties! That part I have seen and I'm a bit disturbed by it, but I guess I am done with babies, at least my own. So I'm OK with some surgery down the line! OK, now I'm going to get to the part that I get really sappy at. After my post yesterday and then all the great and uplifting comments from you all, I really sat and thought about things. I even went and measured again just to see if things came out the same again.  That is when I was slapped up along side of the head! When I measured before I have a fabric tape measure. When I measured my thighs I had to grab each end and then step over the tape and bring it up behind my thigh because I couldn't bend over and reach behind my leg and reach my other hand. I reached yesterday! I can actually scratch the back of my own thigh!  When measuring my hips I almost used the whole tape! Now there is at least 6 inches left! I AM proud of myself! Its going to keep getting better too! Which leads me to more..........maybe to much. This may be TMI for some of you, but this is so I can get this out there. I am not having anymore trouble wiping my own butt anymore. WOW! That has been so embarrassing for me. I didn't ever want my husband in the bathroom with me. I didn't want my kids either.....but that never would happen (they just seem to KNOW when I have to go!).  Its SO liberating! How about a little more? SEX. OMG. I love my husband so much. I am one of those women who like sex, but lets be honest. Its hard to do when you are overweight. You can always make it work, but it lacks a little. The 47/48 lbs gone and the flexibility that has come from going to the gym............wowzers! It has gotten mucho better in the bedroom. My husband is getting quite handsy and he has even made a couple of comments about it. Not sure if I can handle it once another 100 comes off! We might be like a couple of teenagers newlyweds! (little giggle) I think I may go out and find a cute little nightie and that become my inspiration piece. I don't think I'll ever be Victoria's Secret kind of girl. My girls will always be a bit bigger than that! Where is a good place to get that stuff? I've never been able to buy a cute nightie for seduction reasons! Thanks to you all for making me really think and making me realize that this life is worth living and I have so much to live for. Losing weight is only making my life better! For my kids and for my wonderful husband! Now off to bed, I may get lucky again tonight!

Monday, February 27, 2012

12 weeks!

I was banded 12 weeks ago today. In less than a hour it will be exactly 12 weeks. How has my life changed in that amount of time! It was an action packed weekend around our home this weekend so I don't even want to step on  the scale! Why do weekends have to be so damn hard on our eating? I did go measure today and I am down a little over 32 inches! Holy cow! I've been rolling that around in my brain for a couple of hours now. That is taller than my daughter. I am 5'4 so 64", so half of me. I have been looking at my legs and I can't seem to wrap my head around that. I even measured twice because I just can't believe it. It has created a dilemma in me. I'm proud of the inches gone, but...........
 I have gotten to the point that I don't want to tell anyone how much weight I have lost. My mom asked me this weekend and I told her I wasn't telling her. She couldn't understand why. I feel like my weight loss doesn't correspond to how I look. Almost 50 lbs! and 32 inches. Yes, I'm proud, but I don't see it when I look in the mirror. I'm still ashamed and it still depresses me and PISSES me off! When does it get to the point when you can see it for yourself? I am SO MAD that it took me until I was 372lbs before I said, "Enough! Tubby!" I want to be so much more for my kids! I know I'm on my way, but I wish that I could just upload a new version of thinking into my brain that would make it so that I wouldn't want that cracker with cheese on it. Not just a slice of cheddar, but that awesome soft cheese ball rolled in almonds and bacon! Or hot cheese dip and tortilla chips. Why can't I stop wanting chocolate? Cookies? I know we all have those damn demons that lurk in the recesses of our mind and when we just have a slight moment of weakness they spring up and BAM! Before you know it some of that crap is in your mouth!  Why does stuff that is good for us not taste cheesy, warm, gooey, salty, creamy?
OK, enough for that tangent. Now on to the next 12 weeks. May 21st.. That will be 24 weeks. What should my goal be? That's a hard one. I WANT to double my weight loss that I have had so far, but am I setting myself up for disappointment? Will it come off slower these next 12 weeks? I don't want to expect to much and then get myself in a funk. I think I will go half way and then go full bore on the weight loss. I'm shooting for 75 lbs. gone FOREVER!
I want to thank the wonderful Drazil for sending you new wonderful people over my way! Support is awesome to have and I'm very thankful for all I get. Please leave me a message so I can follow you too and support you as well!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday weigh-in!

Starting weight          372 lbs. on 12/5/11  I'm in week 11
last weeks weight      326.1
This weeks weight     324.7  WTH!
Loss of 1.4 lbs for the week  Total loss of 47.   oh the hell with the point, I'm rounding up to 48!

I'm a little disappointed with the 1.4 lbs. I had a fill on Tuesday and since then I haven't met my calorie goal and I've been a little light on the protein too. Maybe that is the problem. It didn't help that yesterday we were hit with a snowstorm and I decided that sitting on my butt in front of the fire getting caught up on some shows I haven't seen in while was a good idea. It probably wasn't.  I also decided my kids needed a snack when they came in from outside and made a pan of Rice Crispy Treats, since I thought I don't really care for them...............once they cool and get "crispy". But when the marshmallows are still soft and gooey and you pat them in the pan. I could stick my head in there and inhale them. I didn't mind you, but I could of...........ok, ok, I did have a tablespoon of them. But sheesh, I looked it up on myfitnesspal. com  for a 2 inch square its 140 calories. It even has 1 gram of protein! I know I sucked at drinking my water yesterday so I'm going to blame it on that! I go back to the gym today to meet with my trainer and after Tuesday I'm sure she's not going to go easy on me! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Fat Tuesday!

Today is know as "Fat Tuesday" the day before Ash Wednesday. I want this out there and known............this is the LAST "fat Tuesday" that I will be FAT!  I may still be overweight next year, but certainly not FAT! Now I am not Catholic but I use to give up something during lent just to be supportive of my catholic friends. It use to be some sort of food like thing, you know soda, candy, chocolate, white bread. Well, crap I don't do that stuff any more anyways. So I thought about going with something harder. Swearing..........now don't get me wrong. I don't have a complete potty mouth. I do have young children. But Shit and DAMN are common words to come out of my mouth. There is an occasional F bomb too, but that's when I'm really frustrated or pissed off. I should do this, but when I do this I try to give it my all, it is for only 40 days for pete's sake. I don't think I can give up the swearing though. Why? I started working out. With a trainer. No, she's not Jillian, but she's getting tougher on me. Just today she had me doing some stuff and all that could come out of my mouth is......."HOLY SHIT! That hurts!"
I also had a fill today. My Dr's. appointment wasn't until late in the afternoon, much to my dismay. I wanted to be down on the scale so of course I cut WAY back on my calories and eating today so to keep myself busy I hauled butt and cleaned my house good! Even down on the floors scrubbing. Moving furniture and vacuuming. Then I went to work out which was brutal then a fill. The Dr. said I'm rocking the weight loss and didn't really want to give me a fill, but I told him I'm really hungry but controlling myself. But my husband told me I'm kinda getting bitchy about it. Saturday was a bad day(read previous post). Poor guy, I'm going to have to make it up to him. I convinced doc to put 1cc more in me. But,  I'm a whipped pup tonight and whenever I get up to move, my gut muscles are screaming "holy shit, knock it off and go get some ice cream to celebrate Fat Tuesday, pretend your in New Orleans!"  I won't don't worry! Happy Fat Tuesday everyone!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

I think I'm going crazy today!

UGGG! Crazy day! I am SO hungry today, but I want to eat all the WRONG things, so I haven't eaten hardly at all!  I want ooey, gooey macaroni and cheese. I know that is a big No-no for bandsters. I want soft, chewy garlic bread with cheese. Another no-no. I want caramel something.  I skipped breakfast today because nothing sounded good except for stuff I can't have. Biscuits and gravy sounds awesome, but I know I can't do it, so I just didn't eat. I did do a good lunch, my calories are only at a little over 200 for the day. I'm just in a bad mood and I'm not sure why. I've been doing so good, but today is just nuts! I did the Wii for a while thinking that exercise will improve my mood. NOPE!  How does everyone pull themselves out of a wicked funk? I think I could eat the butthole out of skunk today if it was slathered in caramel and chocolate. Ok, not really but, Damn, I'm hungry. I have a fill on Tuesday. It will be my second one. Can I ask for a BIG one because I can't even tell there is anything there! OK, enough ranting I need to take the kiddos out and get some fresh air, maybe that would do some good!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight 12/5/11  372 lbs.    week 10
Last weeks weight          329.5
This weeks weight          326.1

Loss from last week 3.4
TOTAL Loss   46 lbs!!!!!

I can feel the 50 lb. mark coming next week! I want that so BAD! I have been feeling SO good lately! I can hardly believe I lost weight this week. I have been switching up the calories this past week. A couple days at 1000 cal. then a couple of days at 1100 and I had a day at a little over 1200. I seemed to work even with Aunt Flo in town and my cravings for chocolate which were even worse with Valentines Day! I did work for a couple of hours on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Did I get flowers? NO! Being a florist my husband has been instucted to NEVER get me flowers. Not that I don't love them, I do, but on holidays such as this.......I'm kinda sick of them! With it being  Presidents Day weekend the kids don't have school today or Monday. So we are off today to the zoo to look at a new dinosaur exhibit. I love having more energy to go play with my kids! Monday will be my 11 week "bandiversary" I might have to weigh then again. I've been afraid to weigh-in on Mondays because weekends can be so hard! I have another dr. appointment on Tuesday. They might say I'm doing good and not want to give me a fill, but I will INSIST! I am very hungry, but have been fighting for all I'm worth! I just don't want to have a bad day and stress get the better with me. Well, have a good weekend everyone! Go out and kick some butt on the world!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Weigh in Friday!

I was super worried about my weight loss this week. After last weeks loss of over 5lbs. (which shocked the bejeezers out of me) I was thinking that there was NO way I would lose this week. I was WRONG! Of course I can't tell my husband I was wrong, he'd never let me live it down! Last week the scale was 331.0, this week it was...........329.5! Thank GOD! A loss of 1.5lbs! Whew! Now I'm going back to the gym today and I'm going to kick butt! I'm going to stay active this weekend with my kids. The only thing I'm worried about is the soup and pie supper at church on sunday. The freaking pies. I'm making a carmel apple pie. I'm hoping someone makes a lemon merigue. I am going to treat myself to one piece of pie Sunday night! I'm also going to work at the flower shop helping out on Sunday afternoon for a while, part of Monday and most of Tuesday. As long as I stay away from the junk food and chocolate I should be fine! Well people, have an awesome weekend! Keep kicking butt!


Friday, February 3, 2012

Friday weigh in Day!

Last week the scale read 336.7, this morning it read 331.0! 5.7 pounds! Now I am a bit worried about this. I have been sick this week and finally went to the dr. yesterday and I have a big old case of bronchitis. I have antibiotics, but I'm still feeling really puny. I haven't worked out at all this week but I have made myself sweat during some of my coughing spells if that counts! I haven't meet my 1000 calories a day all week, so that could be part of the weight loss too. Tues. and Wed. I hardly ate at all, I forced myself to suck down a cold protein shake since my throat was killing me. I just wanted to post the weight loss and hope that that this weight stays off! I'm heading back to bed!