Friday Weigh-In!

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 13
last weeks weight      324.6
This weeks weight     321.2!!!!
Loss of 3.4 lbs for the week Total loss of 51!

I am SO HAPPY that weight came off! Whew!  I'm happy with this loss. I know that it didn't come on overnight, so it won't leave overnight. I have to keep telling myself that me being heavy was over 25 years in the making so taking 2 years to take it off is really no big deal. But over 50lbs! I'm now over a 1/4 of the way of where I want to be eventually. I don't know where I want to end up. Is that strange? I don't know how much I want to weigh. I told my Dr. it wasn't about a number, it was more of a feeling. But now I wonder if I'm concentrating to much on numbers. I just want to feel good, I want to fly without being anxious about fitting in the seat. I want to ride amusement park rides with my kids. I want to snow ski again. Where is that? I don't think I would be comfortable being a size 6 or 8. I think I'm more of a size 12 girl. Maybe even a 14. How do we know where we want to stop? How did you know where you want to be? Or when you got there? Has anyone ever said, "I want to be 160 lbs"  but then you get to 180 and then say, oh, that's enough. I think I look fine. Is that a cop out? Do I need to push myself to a certain weight? I'm I cutting myself short? I keep hearing that at my height an "ideal" weight is 129. Wow, that number freaks me out! That's 243 lbs I'd have to of lost! I don't think I want to do that, not can't but want. I do know that I am going to celebrate all of my losses. I have set it so that for every 25lbs I get a new charm for my bracelet. So I'm going shopping today to add to it! Have a great day all!

Hell Ya!

The Plateau is OVER! Can I get a "Hell Ya!"? I got on the scale this morning. I usually wait until weigh in day on Fridays but I have been so down in the dumps about the scale not moving. I was so shocked to see 322.1! It is suppose to be in the 60's here today and the sun is shining. It going to be an awesome day. I'm heading to the gym to workout with my trainer today and I'm going to rock it! I'm going to be a Dragon Warrior like Lorie over at Just ate my Willpower has suggested!  Let's all go out and kick some butt!

Just one question for fellow bloggers

How the HELL do you add a ticker on to your page? I have tried EVERYTHING! I have a ticker all set up at tickerfactory. I have tried going to layouts and adding your own gadget and then copy and pasting onto my page. But it says it contains wrong characters. ???? Any advice would be helpful! Thanks!

Friday Weigh In and BYOC!

Starting weight          372 lbs. on 12/5/11  I'm in week 12
last weeks weight      324.7
This weeks weight     324.6  WTH!
Loss of .1 lbs for the week  Total loss of 48     

What the HELL? .1????? Really?  .1? Talking about sucking! What the heck am I doing wrong? I know its still a loss but see the numbers up there at the top? 324, I can't possibly be plateauing can I? WHY, WHY, WHY? I've kept my calories at less that 1100 and my protein at about 70g a day, OK, I'm kinda sucking at the water thing. I haven't done 64oz. but I'm getting at least 48 a day! My trainer says that I could be building more muscle and loosing fat so it won't show on the scale but in the way my body looks. That did calm me down a bit, so I'm going with that for right now. So on to BYOC. I haven't done this before, but it looked fun so what the hey!

Brought to us by Drazil:

1.  Since I talked about psychics this week - I'm curious....if you could see one for free and you could only ask one question - what would it be?

Will my children be happy and healthy? I don't want them to go through the same things I have, so I would want to help them along the way to change things to prevent heartache. But doesn't every parent want that?

2.  What's your favorite ice cream flavor and topping?

That depends upon the day. Some days Mint Chocolate Chip--yummo. Some days Buttered Pecan. I also love Chocolate with Peanut Butter added in (can you say Coldstone?!) I LOVE ice cream <3!

5.  Repeat question.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Real life has been pretty much the same except I have had one sick child. He's not real sick but his asthma has really been acting up. He hasn't slept real well, so neither have I. Its been cold, rainy, snowy and since this is South Dakota...WINDY as hell!  Can't wait for spring to hit so I can go outside and walk. We live in the country and gravel roads are not conducive for walking. I'd end up on my ass in a ditch more than anything! Now blogland............AWESOME! I want to thank Drazil for that! I've added so many new followers this week! Amazing!  I still don't post everyday, but I can't always think of things to say. I could put whats going on in my head, but that might scare some people! LOL Hope everyone has a good weekend!

3.  What's your preferred method of working out?  DVDs, an external gym, gym inside your home, classes?

I like going to the gym at this moment because I hired a trainer for accountability. She MAKES me move my ass! I do play with my Wii Fit at home, but I don't get much done, my kids always interrupt me! I'm not to the point I feel comfortable with classes yet. I want to try Zumba, but I think I would look to much like an elephant stomping around. I'm not coordinated yet. I will get there!

4.  If you work outside the home or if you ever did or will in the future - do you think it's better/easier to work with men or woman?  Who do you work mostly with now?

I will work outside the home again one day! I use to! But lets be honest, I'm a florist. I work with mostly women, in one way or another. If I do work with a man in my industry, they are either gay (and really gay but they are hilarious! Everything is BEAUTIFUL and FABULOUS! ) or married. Women are OK. Since we worked in a smaller shop we all got along pretty well. About 12 years ago I wanted to try a sit down job and went to work in an office setting with a bunch of women........NO FREAKING WAY! Bitch, bitch, bitch. There was one woman who was just toxic! She complained constantly!  I've always had friends that are guys, so that would be OK too.

I went and read what I wrote and had to add a note onto #4. Besides working with men that are gay in the industry the only men I really see are ones coming into the shop for flowers for their women. Its so hilarious that you can usually tell by looking at the man what hes there for. Just to make them squirm I have asked "birthday, anniversary or are you in the doghouse?"  You can read them like a book! If they laugh, its one of the first two, if they look down.......Then I ask "how mad is she?" 1 rose, half dozen or a really big bouquet?

Slap up along the head!

First I want to thank all you wonderful people for supporting me. It really does mean a lot! I want to know more about this BOOBs thing! Intriguing! The word BOOBs really caught my eye and it makes me giggle. I guess because how I was whining yesterday about not being able to see the weight loss on me. I guess when I really think about it I can. I knew I could see it in my boobs. Now instead of nice big, round melons I have grapefruit in a pair of tube socks. You get the picture.......saggy titties! That part I have seen and I'm a bit disturbed by it, but I guess I am done with babies, at least my own. So I'm OK with some surgery down the line! OK, now I'm going to get to the part that I get really sappy at. After my post yesterday and then all the great and uplifting comments from you all, I really sat and thought about things. I even went and measured again just to see if things came out the same again.  That is when I was slapped up along side of the head! When I measured before I have a fabric tape measure. When I measured my thighs I had to grab each end and then step over the tape and bring it up behind my thigh because I couldn't bend over and reach behind my leg and reach my other hand. I reached yesterday! I can actually scratch the back of my own thigh!  When measuring my hips I almost used the whole tape! Now there is at least 6 inches left! I AM proud of myself! Its going to keep getting better too! Which leads me to more..........maybe to much. This may be TMI for some of you, but this is so I can get this out there. I am not having anymore trouble wiping my own butt anymore. WOW! That has been so embarrassing for me. I didn't ever want my husband in the bathroom with me. I didn't want my kids either.....but that never would happen (they just seem to KNOW when I have to go!).  Its SO liberating! How about a little more? SEX. OMG. I love my husband so much. I am one of those women who like sex, but lets be honest. Its hard to do when you are overweight. You can always make it work, but it lacks a little. The 47/48 lbs gone and the flexibility that has come from going to the gym............wowzers! It has gotten mucho better in the bedroom. My husband is getting quite handsy and he has even made a couple of comments about it. Not sure if I can handle it once another 100 comes off! We might be like a couple of teenagers newlyweds! (little giggle) I think I may go out and find a cute little nightie and that become my inspiration piece. I don't think I'll ever be Victoria's Secret kind of girl. My girls will always be a bit bigger than that! Where is a good place to get that stuff? I've never been able to buy a cute nightie for seduction reasons! Thanks to you all for making me really think and making me realize that this life is worth living and I have so much to live for. Losing weight is only making my life better! For my kids and for my wonderful husband! Now off to bed, I may get lucky again tonight!

12 weeks!

I was banded 12 weeks ago today. In less than a hour it will be exactly 12 weeks. How has my life changed in that amount of time! It was an action packed weekend around our home this weekend so I don't even want to step on  the scale! Why do weekends have to be so damn hard on our eating? I did go measure today and I am down a little over 32 inches! Holy cow! I've been rolling that around in my brain for a couple of hours now. That is taller than my daughter. I am 5'4 so 64", so half of me. I have been looking at my legs and I can't seem to wrap my head around that. I even measured twice because I just can't believe it. It has created a dilemma in me. I'm proud of the inches gone, but...........
 I have gotten to the point that I don't want to tell anyone how much weight I have lost. My mom asked me this weekend and I told her I wasn't telling her. She couldn't understand why. I feel like my weight loss doesn't correspond to how I look. Almost 50 lbs! and 32 inches. Yes, I'm proud, but I don't see it when I look in the mirror. I'm still ashamed and it still depresses me and PISSES me off! When does it get to the point when you can see it for yourself? I am SO MAD that it took me until I was 372lbs before I said, "Enough! Tubby!" I want to be so much more for my kids! I know I'm on my way, but I wish that I could just upload a new version of thinking into my brain that would make it so that I wouldn't want that cracker with cheese on it. Not just a slice of cheddar, but that awesome soft cheese ball rolled in almonds and bacon! Or hot cheese dip and tortilla chips. Why can't I stop wanting chocolate? Cookies? I know we all have those damn demons that lurk in the recesses of our mind and when we just have a slight moment of weakness they spring up and BAM! Before you know it some of that crap is in your mouth!  Why does stuff that is good for us not taste cheesy, warm, gooey, salty, creamy?
OK, enough for that tangent. Now on to the next 12 weeks. May 21st.. That will be 24 weeks. What should my goal be? That's a hard one. I WANT to double my weight loss that I have had so far, but am I setting myself up for disappointment? Will it come off slower these next 12 weeks? I don't want to expect to much and then get myself in a funk. I think I will go half way and then go full bore on the weight loss. I'm shooting for 75 lbs. gone FOREVER!
I want to thank the wonderful Drazil for sending you new wonderful people over my way! Support is awesome to have and I'm very thankful for all I get. Please leave me a message so I can follow you too and support you as well!

Friday weigh-in!

Starting weight          372 lbs. on 12/5/11  I'm in week 11
last weeks weight      326.1
This weeks weight     324.7  WTH!
Loss of 1.4 lbs for the week  Total loss of 47.   oh the hell with the point, I'm rounding up to 48!

I'm a little disappointed with the 1.4 lbs. I had a fill on Tuesday and since then I haven't met my calorie goal and I've been a little light on the protein too. Maybe that is the problem. It didn't help that yesterday we were hit with a snowstorm and I decided that sitting on my butt in front of the fire getting caught up on some shows I haven't seen in while was a good idea. It probably wasn't.  I also decided my kids needed a snack when they came in from outside and made a pan of Rice Crispy Treats, since I thought I don't really care for them...............once they cool and get "crispy". But when the marshmallows are still soft and gooey and you pat them in the pan. I could stick my head in there and inhale them. I didn't mind you, but I could of...........ok, ok, I did have a tablespoon of them. But sheesh, I looked it up on myfitnesspal. com  for a 2 inch square its 140 calories. It even has 1 gram of protein! I know I sucked at drinking my water yesterday so I'm going to blame it on that! I go back to the gym today to meet with my trainer and after Tuesday I'm sure she's not going to go easy on me! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!