I was banded 12 weeks ago today. In less than a hour it will be exactly 12 weeks. How has my life changed in that amount of time! It was an action packed weekend around our home this weekend so I don't even want to step on the scale! Why do weekends have to be so damn hard on our eating? I did go measure today and I am down a little over 32 inches! Holy cow! I've been rolling that around in my brain for a couple of hours now. That is taller than my daughter. I am 5'4 so 64", so half of me. I have been looking at my legs and I can't seem to wrap my head around that. I even measured twice because I just can't believe it. It has created a dilemma in me. I'm proud of the inches gone, but...........
I have gotten to the point that I don't want to tell anyone how much weight I have lost. My mom asked me this weekend and I told her I wasn't telling her. She couldn't understand why. I feel like my weight loss doesn't correspond to how I look. Almost 50 lbs! and 32 inches. Yes, I'm proud, but I don't see it when I look in the mirror. I'm still ashamed and it still depresses me and PISSES me off! When does it get to the point when you can see it for yourself? I am SO MAD that it took me until I was 372lbs before I said, "Enough! Tubby!" I want to be so much more for my kids! I know I'm on my way, but I wish that I could just upload a new version of thinking into my brain that would make it so that I wouldn't want that cracker with cheese on it. Not just a slice of cheddar, but that awesome soft cheese ball rolled in almonds and bacon! Or hot cheese dip and tortilla chips. Why can't I stop wanting chocolate? Cookies? I know we all have those damn demons that lurk in the recesses of our mind and when we just have a slight moment of weakness they spring up and BAM! Before you know it some of that crap is in your mouth! Why does stuff that is good for us not taste cheesy, warm, gooey, salty, creamy?
OK, enough for that tangent. Now on to the next 12 weeks. May 21st.. That will be 24 weeks. What should my goal be? That's a hard one. I WANT to double my weight loss that I have had so far, but am I setting myself up for disappointment? Will it come off slower these next 12 weeks? I don't want to expect to much and then get myself in a funk. I think I will go half way and then go full bore on the weight loss. I'm shooting for 75 lbs. gone FOREVER!
I want to thank the wonderful Drazil for sending you new wonderful people over my way! Support is awesome to have and I'm very thankful for all I get. Please leave me a message so I can follow you too and support you as well!