Friday, April 20, 2012

Friday Weigh In and BYOC

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 19
last weeks weight 313.6
This weeks weight 313.2
Loss of .4 lbs for the week Total loss of 58.8

Yup, only .4 lb loss. Its in the right direction but not that thrilled. I'm not upset though, I saw lower 2 days ago and then lovely Aunt Flo showed up so I'm blaming that. The only thing I'm struggling with is that last week when I saw the PA and the nutritionist they said I needed to increase my calories. I'm having a hard time doing that without eating junk! I can eat like normal, enter it all in MFP and then at the end of the day, go "Crap! I need another 150 calories, lets eat ice cream!" I don't think that's correct, right? ;-)

I know I've been a BAD blogger! Sorry Miss Lorie! But I will say that I sit down and try to read up on what I've missed! My kids have been keeping me running! Baseball started this week and soccer and of course taekwondo! Thank God it rained on Monday or I would of been a world of hurt that night. I had soccer at 5:45, taekwondo at 6, a fundraiser for church we were suppose to work at from 5-8 and an auxiliary meeting at 7. Soccer was cancelled, so we had more time for the church stuff!  Next week things are more organized! Enough of that, onto BYOC!

1. Do you have any siblings? What is your relationship with them? Good, bad, ugly?

I have 2 brothers and a sister. I am the oldest. My birth father died when I was 10 months old in a car accident so my siblings are halfsies with me, but it doesn't matter in the slightest except they all had blond hair when they were younger (my sis still does) and they have blue eyes. They are all naturally thin too! (ugg) I use to be much closer to my oldest brother until he married my SIL, no offense to anyone but we live in the Midwest and she is from California. We call that place the cereal bowl of America........its full of nuts, fruits and flakes! Not everyone, but my SIL sure is! But oh well, he choose her, he has to live with her. She's the mother of my wonderful niece so I won't say to much about her. My next brother is getting married next year and is expecting a baby this Sept. (yes, backwards) He had Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma about 4 years ago and we weren't sure he was ever going to have kids, so we are happy. My sis is a lawyer on the East coast and we talk a couple of times a week, even though she is 10 years younger. We have become much closer since she had my nephew 4 years ago.
2. Let’s talk pizza. Do you prefer homemade or restaurant? What toppings are your fave?

Homemade pizza is OK, but I'm always trumped by what can go on it. So I like restaurant pizza. I usually order at least a half that is to my own liking. Chicken, bacon ranch. Maybe BBQ chicken. Or maybe just plain old Canadian bacon with lots of cheese.

3. When is the last time you cried – in sadness and in joy?
Cried, that's a hard one. I'm not much of a crier but when I do, I do it up good! I get teary eyed at commercials and feel good things but not really cry. I cried when we adopted all 3 of my kids. I'll tell you more about that in another post! I really cried when I lost my grandfather (my birth dads father) about 8 years ago. He was SUCH an important man in my life! But usually when things are going to hell I become calm because everyone else is crazy. When my brother was diagnose with cancer, my mom FREAKED. I kept calm and talked to the doctors. When my dad (adoptive) was diagnosed with colon cancer 4 years ago, once again mom was a basket case. She thought she was going to bury another husband, I stayed calm and handled crap. The last time I really lost it was when we thought our daughters birth mom was going to back out and take her back when Brooklyn was about a month old (and colicky as HELL) I flipped out and cried, screamed generally lost it, with the lawyer listening from one phone as I talked to this birth mother on a cell I flipped the bitch switch and my husband, and parents and in-laws watching wide-eyed I really lost it. Well, we have our daughter.  Enough said.
4. Do you own a gun – one that is specifically yours? Do you know how to use it?
Not any more. See above answer. That is one reason why. I use to have a really cute pearl handled revolver but for some reason my ex-husband took it with him when he left to go live with his girlfriend (probably One good choice he made in his F'n life) because for the same reason I listed above. When I finally flip, I flip. I really wouldn't ever hurt anyone, except a skunk in my yard, or a raccoon getting into my garbage, or in my garage eating the cats food. This is South Dakota. I have hunted, shot guns, we own one. But for protection only (wildlife mostly). It is locked up and the ammo is separate so that the kids can NOT get near it. I would DIE if something happened to one of them! They have been told to respect the gun. They get corrected quickly if I hear anything even remotely like, "I'm going to shoot you" or  even the finger thing at each other like boys do.
5. Repeat question. Summarize your week!
Its been BUSY! I'm planning Daniels 7th birthday for next month. Trying to figure out summer schedules. Zoo camp, Y camp for the two boys, swimming lessons, camping, baby showers for my brothers fiance, and my cousin. I'm on the church board of education so planning Vacation Bible school. I would like to get to Texas with a stop in OK to visit my daughters birth mother (for about 2 hours only) but that way she won't come up here! I am SO bad! Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday Weigh in! Oh, Glorious!

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 18
last weeks weight 316.0
This weeks weight 313.6
Loss of 2.4 lbs for the week Total loss of 58.4!

Well, I'll be damned! I guess changing my calorie intake does make a difference! I was just eating 1000 calories a day for the past 16 weeks and my loss slowed down, bump up the calories to 1200-1400 and you lose weight. How weird is that? I really sucked at science when I was in school, and this really had me baffled. Common sense would tell me that the less you eat, the more you lose. Not soooo says the dietitian and the PA at the doctors office.  So now that my body is not hanging on to the weight I need to burn more. The really weird part for me is the other day when I was feeling down in the dumps I got into that darn Easter candy and wolfed down a handful of Robin Eggs. I love Whoppers candy so a piece of candy that just has a candy coating is awesome! I ate them before checking on how many calories are in them. I had about 12 of those little suckers. I then went on myfitnesspal and plugged in Robin Eggs  in the popped up 4 equals 200 calories! I about shit a brick sideways! I had consumed 600 calories! I was sooo pissed at myself for being so freaking weak. Then yesterday I was in the grocery store and walked past the discounted Easter candy. There sat a couple of bags of those damn Robin Eggs. I picked it up and turned it over and the label read 8 pieces equals 180 calories. I would of thought that I would of been relieved, I was a little instead of 600 calories I ended up consuming 270 instead. Still, I thought about was that candy really worth that amount of calories? It comes back to does that candy taste as good as losing weight makes me feel?  Heck NO! I did a little dance getting off the scale this morning. I'm getting so close to kicking the 300's in the butt FOREVER! THAT is what makes me feel good. Now the question is .............How do you always remember that before you stick crap in your mouth?
Have an awesome weekend everyone!  Oh, and WAY TO GO Miss Lorie over at I just ate my willpower for losing 101 pounds!  You are awesome! All you girls are! I don't know if I could really do this without reading all your posts! Holly, you are amazing. Drazil, hilarious! You make laugh so hard! I could go on forever about each one of you. But I need to get ready to actually go to work today! I'm helping out at the flower shop for the day...........its PROM time! Need to go help make teenage girls dreams come true!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Hitting the reset button!

So I had a small gain last week. I felt really down in the dumps about it. The darn Easter candy got to me. I love jellybeans and robin eggs (candy coated Whoppers) Love those malted milk balls! I ate WAYYYYY to much candy this weekend. So I knew I had a doctors appointment today and I'm going to have a fill. I haven't been to the doctor since Feb. 17th. I know that I'm going to show a loss on their scale but not as much as it could be. Today I get to see the PA who also runs our support group. She is the PA for both the surgeons in the office. I was discussing how much is in my band and my concerns. She thought that I didn't have enough. I asked her if she would put a bigger fill in me and she said yes. So today I am hitting the reset button on my weight loss. Unfortunately my appointment isn't until later afternoon, but I'm still going to do liquids today and of course then liquids for the next day or two and then back to mushies. I think this is what I need to get back on track! I want to be out of the stinking 300's by May. That is a little over 16 lbs. in about 3 weeks. I might be pushing it but I need a goal. Then the next goal is another 25 lbs by July 1st. Am I setting myself up for disappointment?

Friday, April 6, 2012

Friday Weigh-In.........Damn it, Damn it, DAMN IT!

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 17
last weeks weight 315.6
This weeks weight 316.0
Loss  gain of  .4 lbs for the week Total loss of 56.2

That totally SUCKS! I know its my own fault but I'm going to blame it on the F'n jelly beans that have been screaming my name. I only eat a time. But I only do that a couple (6 or 7) times a day.  But seriously, I looked on the package and it says that a serving is about 14 jelly beans and that is 160 calories. Now I have been keeping my calories at around 1000 a day. I do not eat my exercise calories. I DO log those damn jelly beans and I still have been working out. Why did I gain weight then? I can understand back in the day when I was in one of my moods I could eat a whole box of that glorious cheesy noodle substance? Why could I go to a China buffet and load up on egg rolls, crab Rangoon, General chicken and tons of fried rice. I haven't had any of that in over 4 months but I eat a couple of handfuls of jelly beans and I gain weight. I don't understand!!! I would almost kill for a gooey pizza. Even some chips and cheesy queso dip sounds glorious. Does thinking and dreaming about food make you gain weight?
I guess I'm starting to face reality. I thought that when I started this at my weight,  just changing my eating habits, reducing my intake and my band helping me feel full the weight would just magically slip off. I knew that it would be my job to control myself, but I really thought that I wouldn't have to work really hard at it for at least 100 lbs. I knew then I might have to face going to the gym and sweating (ugggg!) So to prepare myself and to get the kick start it I have been going 2x a week and letting a trainer bust my butt and I can tell it has helped, but do I need to increase this? Is that my life from now on? I've never been one who wanted to exercise. I want to have energy and go do things, but not the gym, run, or even zumba. I want to go to the zoo with my kids, go to amusement parks, walk the mall. Go to concerts. Travel and sight see. I want to stay in exotic locations and fabulous hotels, but I could care less if there is a fitness room in the hotel. Do I need to change that way of thinking? Am I ever going to like to exercise?

Oh, and has anyone else had problems with blogger this week? There are times I can't read anyones blogs and forget about commenting, it just locks up! I have been reading when I get a chance!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Friday Weigh in Day and Happy Anniversary!

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 16
last weeks weight 318
This weeks weight 315.6.
Loss of  2.4 lbs for the week Total loss of 56.6  Lets round that up to 57!!!!

It is the hubby and I's 10th anniversary! WOW! Its a big deal to me since I was married once before for 7 years and it was complete HELL. I was so freaked out about second marriages and the likely hood of them lasting. I have NO doubts now. Its like the first marriage didn't even happen. We have 3 wonderful kids, a beautiful home and a strong marriage and now.........I'm losing weight. I weigh less today than when I got married 10 long years ago! I can feel the next year only getting better! This is a short post because my brother and his fiance are coming to take care of the kids so hubby and I can go check into a hotel for the night. We are going to make the MOST of the next 24 hours! Toodles and I'll fill you in later. Well, not completely! ;-)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

16 weeks! 1/3 of the way through a year!

So yesterday was 16 weeks for me. Wow! A 1/3 of the way through my first year of weight loss. I remeasured myself and I'm 43 inches down! That is almost 4 FEET! What the heck?! That amazes me! I got on the scale this morning and it read 315.9! Down 2.2 from Friday! I usually weigh in on Fridays, because I know that weekends can be rough on me for eating. But I'm down!  I ate more than usual on Sat. and Sunday too! My trainer thinks I need to divert from my usual 1000 calories a couple times a week, not go crazy but add a few calories to keep my body guessing is how she puts it. WOW! I'm getting so excited about saying GOOD FRICKIN' BYE to the 300's. But then I'm faced with getting through 200's! Its a double edged sword isn't it? I want so bad to never see a 3 in front of my weight again but the thought of how hard getting through the course of the 2's freak me out! How long is that going to take?  But 8 weeks ago I posted about how 8 weeks is about how long I USE to stick with a diet. I've doubled that! WOO HOO! 
I had a few NSV's this weekend. I started out wearing a 26/28 depending on the pair of pants. My MIL told me to go buy new pants because mine were becoming baggy. I went to my local Catherines about 2 weeks ago. I grabbed a 26 and a 24 and went into the dressing room. Slipped on the 26, no problems, but a bit big. Slipped on the 24 and FIT! I was thrilled! Decided that I was only getting one pair of jeans because then I would need to really work and get into smaller pants. At the checkout I saw how cheap the jeans were. They were on sale for $14.99! So I got brave and bought myself a 22 and a 20. So this weekend I grabbed a pair of jeans without looking at them and slipped them on, a little snug, but zipped right up and buttoned. I started wondering then, took them off and sure enough they were the 22's!!! I'm going to go try the 20's on just to see how far I have to go, but I am SO stinking thrilled about the 22's. I haven't been a 22 in about 10 years! The hubby and mine  10 year anniversary is this Friday and I'm in better shape now than when we got married! I put on my wedding dress the other day for him. To big! It was a pretty dress but not what I really wanted for a dress to get married in. So I decided that next year for our anniversary I want to wear a cute little dress for our anniversary that will make my husband stand at attention. Well, part of my husband stand at attention! hehehe I'm sooo naughty!  I went a got a new bathing suit for the weekend because we are going away for the weekend. I got into a 20 and damn I don't look to bad! My legs still look terrible, but I know I'm a work in progress!
I want all of you to know that I read all the blogs and you are all AMAZING! I love having your blogs to keep me going. I think reading about others good days and bad days are so inspiring! We all have this weight thing in common and we will all get through it and get to the maintenance part and do well at that too!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Friday Weigh-In Day!

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 15
last weeks weight 319.4
This weeks weight 318.
Loss of 1.4 lbs for the week Total loss of 54.2

1.4................humm. Not bad but not what I was hoping for. I know I shouldn't complain. Over all it is an average of 3.6lbs. per week that I have lost since I started with the thing inside me. With PCOS I knew and was warned that getting rid of the weight would be hard. To me its like hitting concrete with a hammer, sometimes you get a little tiny splinter, the next time it comes off in a chunk. What I wish is that it would be like a cartoon. You know, one smack and it comes off in two pieces and underneath is this smoking hot babe. I want it so that when my husband sees me his mouth drops open and starts drooling. My fantasy continues with him chasing me around the house and me squealing with laughter and then letting him catch me! OK, I enough of that! I just listened to a news story about that book that everyone is talking about "50 Shades of Grey" its sounds like something I want to read. I ran to my Nook and damn thing is dead! So now its on the charger so I can upload this book! What are you all reading? I know the Hunger Games is being talked about a lot now. I need to get those also. I will probably wait to read those this summer when we are camping. Any others that I need to upload?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Spring Fever!

The weather has been absolutely fantastic here the last week. As I sit here and reflect on the last week as I sip my coffee I've been thinking of how my life has changed in just a little over 3 months.
I have been spending SO much more time doing fun stuff with the kids. I was outside with them almost every day last week. We were going on walks after dinner and watching the nature and how it changes with spring. The grass is turning green. Watching the birds make their nest in the trees in our grove. Seeing the tracks of all the animals down by the stream and guessing what kind they are. Listening to the different birds and listening to how their chirps are different (I need to get a book). I am becoming so much more of a plugged in mom. I've learned how to listen better. I heard my 4 year old when he came home from school last week and talked about the leprechaun that was creating big messes in his room when they went out to recess. So I took this a bit farther. Friday night we set a trap for the leprechaun at our house. We baited a trap with marshmallows for the little guy with a stick holding up a box. The next morning (St. Patty's Day) we were awoken to "MOM, MOM! The wheprican ate the smarshmallows! We got 'EM!" So the hubby and I got up, moved the furniture so all 5 of us could surround the box. The hubby had a broom to swat the bugger if needed. The look of anticipation on the kids' faces was priceless! I slowly lifted the box, but the little bugger got away! There were chocolate coins under the box though for the kids. They were so excited! I almost cried. Last year I would of never wanted to get out of bed like that. Last year I would of ate those chocolate coins of the kids. This year I haven't even thought about it! I was SO tired all the time just keeping up with the day to day things I needed to do. What have I missed out on? NO MORE!  This weight loss is doing so much more for kids and husband than just me. I thought this only affected me. I was WRONG (thank God hubby doesn't read this!)
This summer is going to be SO much more fun! I have been scanning pinterest for things to do with my kids! We are going to be doing so much more!There are some really cool ideas for kids activities on there! I had NO idea!  I renewed the zoo membership and we are going to go at least once a week! I have so many ideas!
Is this Spring Fever or weight loss? Combination of both? Does your brain have fat? Does it really cloud you that much?  I feel like life is SO much more colorful! Although my hubby is looking at me like I'm crazy at time because his honey-do list is growing! I want to do so much more around the house! I can't wait to get my garden going this year. The last couple of years I have always  wanted a big garden and we planted some,but then it falls to the way side because I hated sweating and being out in the heat. I KNOW that is going to be different this year! I need those veggies! I'm going to have a section just for the kids too!

Just typing this is getting me so excited I need to get going and move! I've got to run to the hardware store for some stuff. I'm painted the oldest new bedroom and redecorating it for him! He's shared a room with his little brother for long enough. He's going to move to the basement. Its going to be so cool when done. I'll post some pictures of it! Happy Hump Day everyone! Hoping that the Spring Fever is spreading among you all too!

Friday, March 16, 2012

BYOC! Dakota style!

BYOC brought to us by Drazil!

1. How do you feel about college? If you have kids or siblings - will you encourage or require them to go? How long did you go and what for? 
I'm OK with college. I want my kids to go, if they want to. I didn't do the traditional 4 year college. I did a two year Votech school and got an assoc. degree in Financial services/accounting. I'll admit I have used it! I'm seriously thinking about going back to school in the fall. I would love to do some social work stuff. I feel the need to work with young girls who are pregnant and trying to decide on whether they should place a child for adoption or parent. I would also love to help couples in their adoption process. I just think I could go farther if I had some kind of schooling behind me. Its still in the mulling stages though.  Don't know if I can leave my little ones just yet!

2. Pink or purple? Coke or Pepsi? Pen or pencil? Cursive or printing? Ketchup or mustard?
I prefer purple but love pink too. COKE!! oh, just typing that makes my mouth water. I have missed that smell and the bubbles and fizz. The burn in my throat. OH, how I have missed Coca-Cola!  I love my mechanical pencils, especially if I'm doing accounting, I hate to fix mistakes if I wrote in pen. Don't like the mess! I mix my cursive and print. I'm crazy like that, like to mix it up.  Ketchup!

3. If you could live in any generation - which one would it be?
Back to the 80's man! And this time........Jon Bon Jovi would end up in my bed! HA! a girl can dream can't she?

4. What do you sleep in?
Night shirts, not to long though (I HATE them getting tangled around my middle) Not to short, don't need my ass hanging out! But most of the time they lay on the end of the bed for a quick slip on. I like sleeping butt naked with my man!

5. Repeat question - summarize your week!
 Weight loss hasn't been to bad, have made pretty good choices, but some not so good ones. Damn cheese balls! Weather has been super, so I have gotten outside to do more with the kids!

Friday Weigh-In!!

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 14
last weeks weight 321.2
This weeks weight 319.4
Loss of 1.8 lbs for the week        Total loss of 52.8 I'm going with 53!

It's a loss! I'm happy with it but I know it could of been better! I went to Sam's Club for some stuff the other day and I bought my kids a container of White Cheddar Cheese balls and those DAMN things keep calling my name. 25 of those little puppy's have 160 calories! Why did I have to get those for the kids? I'm going to take them to the church on Sunday and put them in little bags for other kids to have for our spring carnival. Hopefully I won't wolf them down before then!
It has been GLORIOUS here this week! It has been in the 70's all week! I have been getting some spring cleaning done....just a little because I have been outside as much as possible with the kids! We have been walking. We live out in the country on a gravel road and its hard to walk on gravel, but I'm not going to let it stop me! I'd love to get my bike out but it hasn't been rode in years! I'm not so sure about riding it on gravel either! I don't think it matters as long as I get off my ass and get outside and move!
Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL weekend and that the luck O'the Irish be with ya all!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Friday Weigh-In!

Starting weight 372 lbs. on 12/5/11 I'm in week 13
last weeks weight      324.6
This weeks weight     321.2!!!!
Loss of 3.4 lbs for the week Total loss of 51!

I am SO HAPPY that weight came off! Whew!  I'm happy with this loss. I know that it didn't come on overnight, so it won't leave overnight. I have to keep telling myself that me being heavy was over 25 years in the making so taking 2 years to take it off is really no big deal. But over 50lbs! I'm now over a 1/4 of the way of where I want to be eventually. I don't know where I want to end up. Is that strange? I don't know how much I want to weigh. I told my Dr. it wasn't about a number, it was more of a feeling. But now I wonder if I'm concentrating to much on numbers. I just want to feel good, I want to fly without being anxious about fitting in the seat. I want to ride amusement park rides with my kids. I want to snow ski again. Where is that? I don't think I would be comfortable being a size 6 or 8. I think I'm more of a size 12 girl. Maybe even a 14. How do we know where we want to stop? How did you know where you want to be? Or when you got there? Has anyone ever said, "I want to be 160 lbs"  but then you get to 180 and then say, oh, that's enough. I think I look fine. Is that a cop out? Do I need to push myself to a certain weight? I'm I cutting myself short? I keep hearing that at my height an "ideal" weight is 129. Wow, that number freaks me out! That's 243 lbs I'd have to of lost! I don't think I want to do that, not can't but want. I do know that I am going to celebrate all of my losses. I have set it so that for every 25lbs I get a new charm for my bracelet. So I'm going shopping today to add to it! Have a great day all!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Hell Ya!

The Plateau is OVER! Can I get a "Hell Ya!"? I got on the scale this morning. I usually wait until weigh in day on Fridays but I have been so down in the dumps about the scale not moving. I was so shocked to see 322.1! It is suppose to be in the 60's here today and the sun is shining. It going to be an awesome day. I'm heading to the gym to workout with my trainer today and I'm going to rock it! I'm going to be a Dragon Warrior like Lorie over at Just ate my Willpower has suggested!  Let's all go out and kick some butt!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Just one question for fellow bloggers

How the HELL do you add a ticker on to your page? I have tried EVERYTHING! I have a ticker all set up at tickerfactory. I have tried going to layouts and adding your own gadget and then copy and pasting onto my page. But it says it contains wrong characters. ???? Any advice would be helpful! Thanks!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Friday Weigh In and BYOC!

Starting weight          372 lbs. on 12/5/11  I'm in week 12
last weeks weight      324.7
This weeks weight     324.6  WTH!
Loss of .1 lbs for the week  Total loss of 48     

What the HELL? .1????? Really?  .1? Talking about sucking! What the heck am I doing wrong? I know its still a loss but see the numbers up there at the top? 324, I can't possibly be plateauing can I? WHY, WHY, WHY? I've kept my calories at less that 1100 and my protein at about 70g a day, OK, I'm kinda sucking at the water thing. I haven't done 64oz. but I'm getting at least 48 a day! My trainer says that I could be building more muscle and loosing fat so it won't show on the scale but in the way my body looks. That did calm me down a bit, so I'm going with that for right now. So on to BYOC. I haven't done this before, but it looked fun so what the hey!

Brought to us by Drazil:
1.  Since I talked about psychics this week - I'm curious....if you could see one for free and you could only ask one question - what would it be?
Will my children be happy and healthy? I don't want them to go through the same things I have, so I would want to help them along the way to change things to prevent heartache. But doesn't every parent want that?
2.  What's your favorite ice cream flavor and topping?

That depends upon the day. Some days Mint Chocolate Chip--yummo. Some days Buttered Pecan. I also love Chocolate with Peanut Butter added in (can you say Coldstone?!) I LOVE ice cream <3!

5.  Repeat question.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Real life has been pretty much the same except I have had one sick child. He's not real sick but his asthma has really been acting up. He hasn't slept real well, so neither have I. Its been cold, rainy, snowy and since this is South Dakota...WINDY as hell!  Can't wait for spring to hit so I can go outside and walk. We live in the country and gravel roads are not conducive for walking. I'd end up on my ass in a ditch more than anything! Now blogland............AWESOME! I want to thank Drazil for that! I've added so many new followers this week! Amazing!  I still don't post everyday, but I can't always think of things to say. I could put whats going on in my head, but that might scare some people! LOL Hope everyone has a good weekend!
3.  What's your preferred method of working out?  DVDs, an external gym, gym inside your home, classes?

I like going to the gym at this moment because I hired a trainer for accountability. She MAKES me move my ass! I do play with my Wii Fit at home, but I don't get much done, my kids always interrupt me! I'm not to the point I feel comfortable with classes yet. I want to try Zumba, but I think I would look to much like an elephant stomping around. I'm not coordinated yet. I will get there!
4.  If you work outside the home or if you ever did or will in the future - do you think it's better/easier to work with men or woman?  Who do you work mostly with now?
I will work outside the home again one day! I use to! But lets be honest, I'm a florist. I work with mostly women, in one way or another. If I do work with a man in my industry, they are either gay (and really gay but they are hilarious! Everything is BEAUTIFUL and FABULOUS! ) or married. Women are OK. Since we worked in a smaller shop we all got along pretty well. About 12 years ago I wanted to try a sit down job and went to work in an office setting with a bunch of women........NO FREAKING WAY! Bitch, bitch, bitch. There was one woman who was just toxic! She complained constantly!  I've always had friends that are guys, so that would be OK too.

I went and read what I wrote and had to add a note onto #4. Besides working with men that are gay in the industry the only men I really see are ones coming into the shop for flowers for their women. Its so hilarious that you can usually tell by looking at the man what hes there for. Just to make them squirm I have asked "birthday, anniversary or are you in the doghouse?"  You can read them like a book! If they laugh, its one of the first two, if they look down.......Then I ask "how mad is she?" 1 rose, half dozen or a really big bouquet?

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Slap up along the head!

First I want to thank all you wonderful people for supporting me. It really does mean a lot! I want to know more about this BOOBs thing! Intriguing! The word BOOBs really caught my eye and it makes me giggle. I guess because how I was whining yesterday about not being able to see the weight loss on me. I guess when I really think about it I can. I knew I could see it in my boobs. Now instead of nice big, round melons I have grapefruit in a pair of tube socks. You get the picture.......saggy titties! That part I have seen and I'm a bit disturbed by it, but I guess I am done with babies, at least my own. So I'm OK with some surgery down the line! OK, now I'm going to get to the part that I get really sappy at. After my post yesterday and then all the great and uplifting comments from you all, I really sat and thought about things. I even went and measured again just to see if things came out the same again.  That is when I was slapped up along side of the head! When I measured before I have a fabric tape measure. When I measured my thighs I had to grab each end and then step over the tape and bring it up behind my thigh because I couldn't bend over and reach behind my leg and reach my other hand. I reached yesterday! I can actually scratch the back of my own thigh!  When measuring my hips I almost used the whole tape! Now there is at least 6 inches left! I AM proud of myself! Its going to keep getting better too! Which leads me to more..........maybe to much. This may be TMI for some of you, but this is so I can get this out there. I am not having anymore trouble wiping my own butt anymore. WOW! That has been so embarrassing for me. I didn't ever want my husband in the bathroom with me. I didn't want my kids either.....but that never would happen (they just seem to KNOW when I have to go!).  Its SO liberating! How about a little more? SEX. OMG. I love my husband so much. I am one of those women who like sex, but lets be honest. Its hard to do when you are overweight. You can always make it work, but it lacks a little. The 47/48 lbs gone and the flexibility that has come from going to the gym............wowzers! It has gotten mucho better in the bedroom. My husband is getting quite handsy and he has even made a couple of comments about it. Not sure if I can handle it once another 100 comes off! We might be like a couple of teenagers newlyweds! (little giggle) I think I may go out and find a cute little nightie and that become my inspiration piece. I don't think I'll ever be Victoria's Secret kind of girl. My girls will always be a bit bigger than that! Where is a good place to get that stuff? I've never been able to buy a cute nightie for seduction reasons! Thanks to you all for making me really think and making me realize that this life is worth living and I have so much to live for. Losing weight is only making my life better! For my kids and for my wonderful husband! Now off to bed, I may get lucky again tonight!

Monday, February 27, 2012

12 weeks!

I was banded 12 weeks ago today. In less than a hour it will be exactly 12 weeks. How has my life changed in that amount of time! It was an action packed weekend around our home this weekend so I don't even want to step on  the scale! Why do weekends have to be so damn hard on our eating? I did go measure today and I am down a little over 32 inches! Holy cow! I've been rolling that around in my brain for a couple of hours now. That is taller than my daughter. I am 5'4 so 64", so half of me. I have been looking at my legs and I can't seem to wrap my head around that. I even measured twice because I just can't believe it. It has created a dilemma in me. I'm proud of the inches gone, but...........
 I have gotten to the point that I don't want to tell anyone how much weight I have lost. My mom asked me this weekend and I told her I wasn't telling her. She couldn't understand why. I feel like my weight loss doesn't correspond to how I look. Almost 50 lbs! and 32 inches. Yes, I'm proud, but I don't see it when I look in the mirror. I'm still ashamed and it still depresses me and PISSES me off! When does it get to the point when you can see it for yourself? I am SO MAD that it took me until I was 372lbs before I said, "Enough! Tubby!" I want to be so much more for my kids! I know I'm on my way, but I wish that I could just upload a new version of thinking into my brain that would make it so that I wouldn't want that cracker with cheese on it. Not just a slice of cheddar, but that awesome soft cheese ball rolled in almonds and bacon! Or hot cheese dip and tortilla chips. Why can't I stop wanting chocolate? Cookies? I know we all have those damn demons that lurk in the recesses of our mind and when we just have a slight moment of weakness they spring up and BAM! Before you know it some of that crap is in your mouth!  Why does stuff that is good for us not taste cheesy, warm, gooey, salty, creamy?
OK, enough for that tangent. Now on to the next 12 weeks. May 21st.. That will be 24 weeks. What should my goal be? That's a hard one. I WANT to double my weight loss that I have had so far, but am I setting myself up for disappointment? Will it come off slower these next 12 weeks? I don't want to expect to much and then get myself in a funk. I think I will go half way and then go full bore on the weight loss. I'm shooting for 75 lbs. gone FOREVER!
I want to thank the wonderful Drazil for sending you new wonderful people over my way! Support is awesome to have and I'm very thankful for all I get. Please leave me a message so I can follow you too and support you as well!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday weigh-in!

Starting weight          372 lbs. on 12/5/11  I'm in week 11
last weeks weight      326.1
This weeks weight     324.7  WTH!
Loss of 1.4 lbs for the week  Total loss of 47.   oh the hell with the point, I'm rounding up to 48!

I'm a little disappointed with the 1.4 lbs. I had a fill on Tuesday and since then I haven't met my calorie goal and I've been a little light on the protein too. Maybe that is the problem. It didn't help that yesterday we were hit with a snowstorm and I decided that sitting on my butt in front of the fire getting caught up on some shows I haven't seen in while was a good idea. It probably wasn't.  I also decided my kids needed a snack when they came in from outside and made a pan of Rice Crispy Treats, since I thought I don't really care for them...............once they cool and get "crispy". But when the marshmallows are still soft and gooey and you pat them in the pan. I could stick my head in there and inhale them. I didn't mind you, but I could of...........ok, ok, I did have a tablespoon of them. But sheesh, I looked it up on myfitnesspal. com  for a 2 inch square its 140 calories. It even has 1 gram of protein! I know I sucked at drinking my water yesterday so I'm going to blame it on that! I go back to the gym today to meet with my trainer and after Tuesday I'm sure she's not going to go easy on me! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Fat Tuesday!

Today is know as "Fat Tuesday" the day before Ash Wednesday. I want this out there and known............this is the LAST "fat Tuesday" that I will be FAT!  I may still be overweight next year, but certainly not FAT! Now I am not Catholic but I use to give up something during lent just to be supportive of my catholic friends. It use to be some sort of food like thing, you know soda, candy, chocolate, white bread. Well, crap I don't do that stuff any more anyways. So I thought about going with something harder. don't get me wrong. I don't have a complete potty mouth. I do have young children. But Shit and DAMN are common words to come out of my mouth. There is an occasional F bomb too, but that's when I'm really frustrated or pissed off. I should do this, but when I do this I try to give it my all, it is for only 40 days for pete's sake. I don't think I can give up the swearing though. Why? I started working out. With a trainer. No, she's not Jillian, but she's getting tougher on me. Just today she had me doing some stuff and all that could come out of my mouth is......."HOLY SHIT! That hurts!"
I also had a fill today. My Dr's. appointment wasn't until late in the afternoon, much to my dismay. I wanted to be down on the scale so of course I cut WAY back on my calories and eating today so to keep myself busy I hauled butt and cleaned my house good! Even down on the floors scrubbing. Moving furniture and vacuuming. Then I went to work out which was brutal then a fill. The Dr. said I'm rocking the weight loss and didn't really want to give me a fill, but I told him I'm really hungry but controlling myself. But my husband told me I'm kinda getting bitchy about it. Saturday was a bad day(read previous post). Poor guy, I'm going to have to make it up to him. I convinced doc to put 1cc more in me. But,  I'm a whipped pup tonight and whenever I get up to move, my gut muscles are screaming "holy shit, knock it off and go get some ice cream to celebrate Fat Tuesday, pretend your in New Orleans!"  I won't don't worry! Happy Fat Tuesday everyone!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

I think I'm going crazy today!

UGGG! Crazy day! I am SO hungry today, but I want to eat all the WRONG things, so I haven't eaten hardly at all!  I want ooey, gooey macaroni and cheese. I know that is a big No-no for bandsters. I want soft, chewy garlic bread with cheese. Another no-no. I want caramel something.  I skipped breakfast today because nothing sounded good except for stuff I can't have. Biscuits and gravy sounds awesome, but I know I can't do it, so I just didn't eat. I did do a good lunch, my calories are only at a little over 200 for the day. I'm just in a bad mood and I'm not sure why. I've been doing so good, but today is just nuts! I did the Wii for a while thinking that exercise will improve my mood. NOPE!  How does everyone pull themselves out of a wicked funk? I think I could eat the butthole out of skunk today if it was slathered in caramel and chocolate. Ok, not really but, Damn, I'm hungry. I have a fill on Tuesday. It will be my second one. Can I ask for a BIG one because I can't even tell there is anything there! OK, enough ranting I need to take the kiddos out and get some fresh air, maybe that would do some good!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Friday Weigh-In

Starting weight 12/5/11  372 lbs.    week 10
Last weeks weight          329.5
This weeks weight          326.1

Loss from last week 3.4
TOTAL Loss   46 lbs!!!!!

I can feel the 50 lb. mark coming next week! I want that so BAD! I have been feeling SO good lately! I can hardly believe I lost weight this week. I have been switching up the calories this past week. A couple days at 1000 cal. then a couple of days at 1100 and I had a day at a little over 1200. I seemed to work even with Aunt Flo in town and my cravings for chocolate which were even worse with Valentines Day! I did work for a couple of hours on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Did I get flowers? NO! Being a florist my husband has been instucted to NEVER get me flowers. Not that I don't love them, I do, but on holidays such as this.......I'm kinda sick of them! With it being  Presidents Day weekend the kids don't have school today or Monday. So we are off today to the zoo to look at a new dinosaur exhibit. I love having more energy to go play with my kids! Monday will be my 11 week "bandiversary" I might have to weigh then again. I've been afraid to weigh-in on Mondays because weekends can be so hard! I have another dr. appointment on Tuesday. They might say I'm doing good and not want to give me a fill, but I will INSIST! I am very hungry, but have been fighting for all I'm worth! I just don't want to have a bad day and stress get the better with me. Well, have a good weekend everyone! Go out and kick some butt on the world!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Weigh in Friday!

I was super worried about my weight loss this week. After last weeks loss of over 5lbs. (which shocked the bejeezers out of me) I was thinking that there was NO way I would lose this week. I was WRONG! Of course I can't tell my husband I was wrong, he'd never let me live it down! Last week the scale was 331.0, this week it was...........329.5! Thank GOD! A loss of 1.5lbs! Whew! Now I'm going back to the gym today and I'm going to kick butt! I'm going to stay active this weekend with my kids. The only thing I'm worried about is the soup and pie supper at church on sunday. The freaking pies. I'm making a carmel apple pie. I'm hoping someone makes a lemon merigue. I am going to treat myself to one piece of pie Sunday night! I'm also going to work at the flower shop helping out on Sunday afternoon for a while, part of Monday and most of Tuesday. As long as I stay away from the junk food and chocolate I should be fine! Well people, have an awesome weekend! Keep kicking butt!


Friday, February 3, 2012

Friday weigh in Day!

Last week the scale read 336.7, this morning it read 331.0! 5.7 pounds! Now I am a bit worried about this. I have been sick this week and finally went to the dr. yesterday and I have a big old case of bronchitis. I have antibiotics, but I'm still feeling really puny. I haven't worked out at all this week but I have made myself sweat during some of my coughing spells if that counts! I haven't meet my 1000 calories a day all week, so that could be part of the weight loss too. Tues. and Wed. I hardly ate at all, I forced myself to suck down a cold protein shake since my throat was killing me. I just wanted to post the weight loss and hope that that this weight stays off! I'm heading back to bed!

Monday, January 30, 2012

8 weeks today!

Well, 8 weeks ago I was banded. Why is that such a big deal to me you may ask. It's that I've thought about all diets that I have "tried" over my lifetime and that has been about the extent of how long I've given it my all. I tried Weight Watchers with a bunch of girls from work a few years back. I was SO stinkin' faithful to that because "all the girls" were doing it. I had the cookbook, went to meetings, weighed everything. Walked, and walked some more. In 8 weeks I lost 11 lbs.. Yes, I know, its a loss. But COME ON! 11 stinking pounds? Then 2 years ago my hubby and I did Ideal Weigh protein diet. We bought all the food, went in faithfully and I lost 23 lbs. that time. The husband............60! Now if that's not a freaking kick in the gut!
I guess what I'm getting at is that even on those diets that I faithfully tried for 8 weeks I did lose weight, BUT I was miserable! I felt so defeated and by 8pm every night I was climbing the walls! On WW I wanted everything fattening, on Ideal Weigh I wanted a piece of fruit so freaking bad I was dreaming of bananas in my sleep! With this band I'm not craving food. Yes, I get hungry, but not climbing the walls. I don't dream of food. I don't feel deprived. I feel part of a group. I'm losing weight faster than I ever have. Do I want it to be faster? HELL YA! But this is the first time that any longer then 8 weeks is no big deal. This has become a way of LIFE, not a DIET. I guess that is the difference. So when people ask me how I'm losing weight, I will say I changed my life instead of dieting!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Follow up to today

I was thinking about what I wrote today and how my life is changing with this weight loss journey. I came across a couple of sayings today that I absolutely LOVE and I'm going to get them blown up and post every where I can to remember them daily. I wanted to share:

I also found this one:


Friday weigh-in day!

The scale read 336.7 lbs. today. Last week it was 339.5, so just about 3 lbs! OK so its 2.8 right? I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so my math is fuzzy this morning and coffee hasn't kicked in yet! Over 36 lbs in 7 1/2 weeks. I'm happy with the results but I'm kicking myself wondering if it could of been more if I had kept my flippin hands out of the Cheetos bag when giving my kids a snack! I think I need another fill. The first fill last week I don't think did a thing! I am HUNGRY! I fight it as much as I can, I'm working out more. I know I can't complain about almost 3 lbs. but I'm so eager for more weight loss.
 I know that I feel better. Its so surreal. I have weighed this amount in the past, heck it was 2 years ago that I had done the Ideal Weigh Protein Diet and lost this much weight and then as soon as I stopped eating their outrageously priced "food", the weight came back on! I have so much more energy and I do feel better. The other day I was putting some food away in my pantry I looked at some of the stuff in there and got to looking at things and then the next thing I knew I was ripping it apart taking everything out. I got rid of a bunch of crap that didn't need to be in there anymore. I chucked a bunch and donated some stuff. I washed shelves and the floors and then reorganized. Now there still is some stuff in there I can't have but my husband and kids can. I know that if they support me all of it should be gone. I don't agree with that. My kids and husband don't force me to put food in my mouth, and if I really wanted it I would get it anyway. I can get a bag of Cheetos at the gas station. McDonald's is right down the road. I have to get it through my head that I can NOT eat that stuff and lose weight.
 Its the same thing my friend is going through. I have a friend "L" and she has an alcohol problem. She used to be a big girl then she had gastric by-pass about 10 years ago. She then got really skinny and then the problems started. She started drinking beer, a LOT of beer. She got attention from men that she hadn't had before, she cheated on her husband, ended up divorced, lost her job, and has almost lost her life twice now because of her alcoholism. I'm trying to be a good friend because just like alcohol, her weight does not define who she is. But I know I need food to survive I just have to control the amount. Yes, we need to drink, but WATER is the only thing we really need in liquid form. Its hard to understand alcoholism and weight issues. I pray that L is working through her issues and will not drink anymore. She has a boyfriend that I feel is not good for her. I know her family thinks that too, but L doesn't want to be alone, it another one of those issues we have. She used to turn to food to comfort her, then it was alcohol, and now that she doesn't have either of those she clings to someone who is bad for her and her sobriety. I know this is bad, but I'm a little relieved that I have L in my life so that I can see what NOT to do after weight loss surgery! I hope and pray that she turns her life around and I will be there for her every step of the way. She is a cheerleader for me too.
I guess after re-reading this the point is we all have battles, and we all need support. None of us is immune. We all eat for different reasons. I will share some of mine in the future. I need to think about how exactly to say it. You can see that I ramble a bit, I need to organize my thoughts better! Maybe after more than 4 hours sleep. That was because hubby was out on an accident call at 4am and I didn't go to bed until midnight. I would of went back to sleep but with hubby out, my mind thinks of the accident and prays for the people involved. It doesn't help that the damn dog barks at every little sound either while he's gone!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Friday Weigh In!

Well, I'm happy to post this one! After being at a stall last week, this week has finally been awesome! I posted at the beginning of the week I had lost 2.2 lbs. now this morning my scale read 339.5 to that is a total of 3.7lbs! WOW! So exercise is the key! To bad it sucks! So now I have lost a total of 34lbs. since Dec. 5th, a little over 6 weeks! I can NOT complain! I was shooting for losing 75 lbs. by the end of June when my little brother wedding was scheduled. Well, he called last night and that has to be changed. He and my future SIL are PREGO! Just barely. They figured it happened on New Years Eve. I knew they were going to try right after they got married because my brother had cancer a couple of years ago and had to go through chemo and he was worried about not being able to have kids, so they wanted to try right away in case there was problems. Ooops! Oh, well, so they move the wedding up. Now they are thinking the end of March, beginning of April. Can I do another 35 lbs. in a little over 2 months? I read on another blog that every pound of fat equals 3500 calories, so if you want to lose 2 lbs. per week you need to burn 7000 calories! So if I want to lose 4lbs. a week I need to burn 14,000 calories? Schnikee! Can it be done? I'm going to give it a hell of a shot! So I need all the support I can get!  I'm going to be an AUNTIE again!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My First Fill

So went to see my doctor today and he said I was doing great! He didn't think that I needed a fill, but I said, "Yes, I think I do" I know that I'm starting to get hungrier and I can drink water FAST. I know that I'm going to be working more in the next couple of weeks so I didn't want anything to stand in the way of losing more weight, so I got a fill. I finally found out that I have a AP large band on and he put in 3cc's for my first fill. I don't feel any different right at the moment. I'm kinda hungry tonight, but I'm fighting it like I have the last couple of weeks. I'll read blogs and then get out the old stand-by my crocheting. I guess I could use some new dish clothes. I can't wait until spring so I can spend some more time outside. My garden is going to ROCK this year! I've been dreaming of what I'm going to do out there this year. The past couple I haven't done much at all because I've been to F'n lazy to get my butt out there and hauling my fat butt out there made me sweat and that is something I did NOT like to do. Tomorrow I'm going to the gym again, so we will see what happens then. I can hardly wait until Friday to weigh in!

Monday, January 16, 2012


Well, it broke through! The scale moved! It now reads 340.4. So DOWN 2.2 lbs! I was So stressed. Well, its no wonder, Aunt Flo came to visit! With my PCOS it is so hard to judge when she's coming to visit and I'm never regular. So being stressed and bitchy (my poor hubby) was just par for the course. Thank GOD! So now as of today, 6 weeks after surgery I am down 32 lbs. Not to bad I think. I hope it keeps dropping off. I go for my first fill tomorrow and we will see what the doc has to say. My one question to him is I know I should keep it at 1000 calories a day. I have been using and when I plug in my food and then I add my exercise it allows me more calories for the day. So do I ignore that and still keep it at 1000 or when I've had a really strenous workout (for me) can I have a few more calories? I had another session with my trainer today and holy cow, I am whipped when I'm done. Today she had me whipping that big ass rope like I've seen on the Biggest Loser and I always thought, pfft, how hard can that be? Well, let me tell you, its a flipping workout! Then I was down on the floor doing some crunches with one of those big balls under my feet. I keep telling myself, you can do this, you can do this. I'm just waiting for the day when it becomes easy. Yes, I know, it never becomes easy!

Sunday, January 15, 2012


I haven't logged in for a couple of days because I have been soooo frustrated with my weight loss, or lack of. I have been stuck for over a week now! I know people have been telling me it will come off. Its just because I started working out and my body is freaking out. Well, I'm freaking out! My trainer is great its just that she has never worked with anyone that has been banded before. I've told her that I'm keeping my calories at 1000 a day and of course she thinks that is to little. She thinks I need to just do one day at 1000 and then stagger the rest of the days like two at 1200, two at 1100, one at 1300 and have one at even more like 1600 or up to 2000. But then I went to support group and heard that 1000 is what the doctors say and that they had one patient that did 1000 religiously and then on the weekends did 2000 a day and it was like spinning your wheels. I'm confused! I'm almost 6 weeks into this journey and being stuck at 30 lbs. is driving me crazy!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Holy Crap!

Oh, my I know now how those people on The Biggest Loser must feel. My trainer took it really easy on me last week for my first time because today..................CRAPOLA! I am sore tonight. I felt today like I was going to die! I was red faced, sweaty and even a little light headed, but I pushed and stuck with everything she wanted me to do. Its different for me now, I really have an end goal in mind and I just kept telling myself that, "its going to get better" and "you'll love yourself for this in a couple of months". Then I went to MyFitness Pal and journaled my food and exercise for the day. Made a good supper, grilled chicken, couscous, and a salad with fat free dressing and took a hot bath to soak my tired muscles. Once I plugged everything into MyFitnessPal, I had already exceeded the 8 glasses of water so I finished the day and they told me that if everyday was like to today I would be 315 in 5 weeks! That would be like 60 lbs. off in 10 weeks since surgery. So if I really do exercise that much the weight would really come off that fast?! Oh COULD IT BE? or are they just messing with me? If its the truth, I can handle it, I can.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Oh, what did I do?

In a moment of what I am calling "stupidity" (just because I'm sore) I went to a gym yesterday and signed up, then I hired a personal trainer for 2x a week for 3 months and I plunked down the money so that I wouldn't back out of it. Now  have some accountability and I'm starting to exercising for the first time in years! So today I started. She and I talked about how my weight problem started and how it grew and how motivated I am now to get rid of this weight. Its pathetic to think when I was 16 I was 122 lbs. on the golf team at school and use to waterski and snowski and was so active and now I started this at 372lbs at 44 years old and unactive except for cleaning the house and taking care of my kids. The longest distance I would walk is from the car through the grocey store and back to the car. I have read all these blogs and I see that to really make this work I needed to move my ass. So here it goes. But tonight I feel like I have been hit by a truck! I'm thinking that a hot bath sounds awesome. I wish hot water would melt fat!