Monday, January 30, 2012

8 weeks today!

Well, 8 weeks ago I was banded. Why is that such a big deal to me you may ask. It's that I've thought about all diets that I have "tried" over my lifetime and that has been about the extent of how long I've given it my all. I tried Weight Watchers with a bunch of girls from work a few years back. I was SO stinkin' faithful to that because "all the girls" were doing it. I had the cookbook, went to meetings, weighed everything. Walked, and walked some more. In 8 weeks I lost 11 lbs.. Yes, I know, its a loss. But COME ON! 11 stinking pounds? Then 2 years ago my hubby and I did Ideal Weigh protein diet. We bought all the food, went in faithfully and I lost 23 lbs. that time. The husband............60! Now if that's not a freaking kick in the gut!
I guess what I'm getting at is that even on those diets that I faithfully tried for 8 weeks I did lose weight, BUT I was miserable! I felt so defeated and by 8pm every night I was climbing the walls! On WW I wanted everything fattening, on Ideal Weigh I wanted a piece of fruit so freaking bad I was dreaming of bananas in my sleep! With this band I'm not craving food. Yes, I get hungry, but not climbing the walls. I don't dream of food. I don't feel deprived. I feel part of a group. I'm losing weight faster than I ever have. Do I want it to be faster? HELL YA! But this is the first time that any longer then 8 weeks is no big deal. This has become a way of LIFE, not a DIET. I guess that is the difference. So when people ask me how I'm losing weight, I will say I changed my life instead of dieting!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Follow up to today

I was thinking about what I wrote today and how my life is changing with this weight loss journey. I came across a couple of sayings today that I absolutely LOVE and I'm going to get them blown up and post every where I can to remember them daily. I wanted to share:

I also found this one:




THIS IS SO TRUE!

Friday weigh-in day!

The scale read 336.7 lbs. today. Last week it was 339.5, so just about 3 lbs! OK so its 2.8 right? I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, so my math is fuzzy this morning and coffee hasn't kicked in yet! Over 36 lbs in 7 1/2 weeks. I'm happy with the results but I'm kicking myself wondering if it could of been more if I had kept my flippin hands out of the Cheetos bag when giving my kids a snack! I think I need another fill. The first fill last week I don't think did a thing! I am HUNGRY! I fight it as much as I can, I'm working out more. I know I can't complain about almost 3 lbs. but I'm so eager for more weight loss.
 I know that I feel better. Its so surreal. I have weighed this amount in the past, heck it was 2 years ago that I had done the Ideal Weigh Protein Diet and lost this much weight and then as soon as I stopped eating their outrageously priced "food", the weight came back on! I have so much more energy and I do feel better. The other day I was putting some food away in my pantry I looked at some of the stuff in there and got to looking at things and then the next thing I knew I was ripping it apart taking everything out. I got rid of a bunch of crap that didn't need to be in there anymore. I chucked a bunch and donated some stuff. I washed shelves and the floors and then reorganized. Now there still is some stuff in there I can't have but my husband and kids can. I know that if they support me all of it should be gone. I don't agree with that. My kids and husband don't force me to put food in my mouth, and if I really wanted it I would get it anyway. I can get a bag of Cheetos at the gas station. McDonald's is right down the road. I have to get it through my head that I can NOT eat that stuff and lose weight.
 Its the same thing my friend is going through. I have a friend "L" and she has an alcohol problem. She used to be a big girl then she had gastric by-pass about 10 years ago. She then got really skinny and then the problems started. She started drinking beer, a LOT of beer. She got attention from men that she hadn't had before, she cheated on her husband, ended up divorced, lost her job, and has almost lost her life twice now because of her alcoholism. I'm trying to be a good friend because just like alcohol, her weight does not define who she is. But I know I need food to survive I just have to control the amount. Yes, we need to drink, but WATER is the only thing we really need in liquid form. Its hard to understand alcoholism and weight issues. I pray that L is working through her issues and will not drink anymore. She has a boyfriend that I feel is not good for her. I know her family thinks that too, but L doesn't want to be alone, it another one of those issues we have. She used to turn to food to comfort her, then it was alcohol, and now that she doesn't have either of those she clings to someone who is bad for her and her sobriety. I know this is bad, but I'm a little relieved that I have L in my life so that I can see what NOT to do after weight loss surgery! I hope and pray that she turns her life around and I will be there for her every step of the way. She is a cheerleader for me too.
I guess after re-reading this the point is we all have battles, and we all need support. None of us is immune. We all eat for different reasons. I will share some of mine in the future. I need to think about how exactly to say it. You can see that I ramble a bit, I need to organize my thoughts better! Maybe after more than 4 hours sleep. That was because hubby was out on an accident call at 4am and I didn't go to bed until midnight. I would of went back to sleep but with hubby out, my mind thinks of the accident and prays for the people involved. It doesn't help that the damn dog barks at every little sound either while he's gone!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Friday Weigh In!

Well, I'm happy to post this one! After being at a stall last week, this week has finally been awesome! I posted at the beginning of the week I had lost 2.2 lbs. now this morning my scale read 339.5 to that is a total of 3.7lbs! WOW! So exercise is the key! To bad it sucks! So now I have lost a total of 34lbs. since Dec. 5th, a little over 6 weeks! I can NOT complain! I was shooting for losing 75 lbs. by the end of June when my little brother wedding was scheduled. Well, he called last night and that has to be changed. He and my future SIL are PREGO! Just barely. They figured it happened on New Years Eve. I knew they were going to try right after they got married because my brother had cancer a couple of years ago and had to go through chemo and he was worried about not being able to have kids, so they wanted to try right away in case there was problems. Ooops! Oh, well, so they move the wedding up. Now they are thinking the end of March, beginning of April. Can I do another 35 lbs. in a little over 2 months? I read on another blog that every pound of fat equals 3500 calories, so if you want to lose 2 lbs. per week you need to burn 7000 calories! So if I want to lose 4lbs. a week I need to burn 14,000 calories? Schnikee! Can it be done? I'm going to give it a hell of a shot! So I need all the support I can get!  I'm going to be an AUNTIE again!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My First Fill

So went to see my doctor today and he said I was doing great! He didn't think that I needed a fill, but I said, "Yes, I think I do" I know that I'm starting to get hungrier and I can drink water FAST. I know that I'm going to be working more in the next couple of weeks so I didn't want anything to stand in the way of losing more weight, so I got a fill. I finally found out that I have a AP large band on and he put in 3cc's for my first fill. I don't feel any different right at the moment. I'm kinda hungry tonight, but I'm fighting it like I have the last couple of weeks. I'll read blogs and then get out the old stand-by my crocheting. I guess I could use some new dish clothes. I can't wait until spring so I can spend some more time outside. My garden is going to ROCK this year! I've been dreaming of what I'm going to do out there this year. The past couple I haven't done much at all because I've been to F'n lazy to get my butt out there and hauling my fat butt out there made me sweat and that is something I did NOT like to do. Tomorrow I'm going to the gym again, so we will see what happens then. I can hardly wait until Friday to weigh in!

Monday, January 16, 2012

FINALLY!

Well, it broke through! The scale moved! It now reads 340.4. So DOWN 2.2 lbs! I was So stressed. Well, its no wonder, Aunt Flo came to visit! With my PCOS it is so hard to judge when she's coming to visit and I'm never regular. So being stressed and bitchy (my poor hubby) was just par for the course. Thank GOD! So now as of today, 6 weeks after surgery I am down 32 lbs. Not to bad I think. I hope it keeps dropping off. I go for my first fill tomorrow and we will see what the doc has to say. My one question to him is I know I should keep it at 1000 calories a day. I have been using myfitnesspal.com and when I plug in my food and then I add my exercise it allows me more calories for the day. So do I ignore that and still keep it at 1000 or when I've had a really strenous workout (for me) can I have a few more calories? I had another session with my trainer today and holy cow, I am whipped when I'm done. Today she had me whipping that big ass rope like I've seen on the Biggest Loser and I always thought, pfft, how hard can that be? Well, let me tell you, its a flipping workout! Then I was down on the floor doing some crunches with one of those big balls under my feet. I keep telling myself, you can do this, you can do this. I'm just waiting for the day when it becomes easy. Yes, I know, it never becomes easy!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

UGGGG!

I haven't logged in for a couple of days because I have been soooo frustrated with my weight loss, or lack of. I have been stuck for over a week now! I know people have been telling me it will come off. Its just because I started working out and my body is freaking out. Well, I'm freaking out! My trainer is great its just that she has never worked with anyone that has been banded before. I've told her that I'm keeping my calories at 1000 a day and of course she thinks that is to little. She thinks I need to just do one day at 1000 and then stagger the rest of the days like two at 1200, two at 1100, one at 1300 and have one at even more like 1600 or up to 2000. But then I went to support group and heard that 1000 is what the doctors say and that they had one patient that did 1000 religiously and then on the weekends did 2000 a day and it was like spinning your wheels. I'm confused! I'm almost 6 weeks into this journey and being stuck at 30 lbs. is driving me crazy!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Holy Crap!

Oh, my I know now how those people on The Biggest Loser must feel. My trainer took it really easy on me last week for my first time because today..................CRAPOLA! I am sore tonight. I felt today like I was going to die! I was red faced, sweaty and even a little light headed, but I pushed and stuck with everything she wanted me to do. Its different for me now, I really have an end goal in mind and I just kept telling myself that, "its going to get better" and "you'll love yourself for this in a couple of months". Then I went to MyFitness Pal and journaled my food and exercise for the day. Made a good supper, grilled chicken, couscous, and a salad with fat free dressing and took a hot bath to soak my tired muscles. Once I plugged everything into MyFitnessPal, I had already exceeded the 8 glasses of water so I finished the day and they told me that if everyday was like to today I would be 315 in 5 weeks! That would be like 60 lbs. off in 10 weeks since surgery. So if I really do exercise that much the weight would really come off that fast?! Oh COULD IT BE? or are they just messing with me? If its the truth, I can handle it, I can.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Oh, what did I do?

In a moment of what I am calling "stupidity" (just because I'm sore) I went to a gym yesterday and signed up, then I hired a personal trainer for 2x a week for 3 months and I plunked down the money so that I wouldn't back out of it. Now  have some accountability and I'm starting to exercising for the first time in years! So today I started. She and I talked about how my weight problem started and how it grew and how motivated I am now to get rid of this weight. Its pathetic to think when I was 16 I was 122 lbs. on the golf team at school and use to waterski and snowski and was so active and now I started this at 372lbs at 44 years old and unactive except for cleaning the house and taking care of my kids. The longest distance I would walk is from the car through the grocey store and back to the car. I have read all these blogs and I see that to really make this work I needed to move my ass. So here it goes. But tonight I feel like I have been hit by a truck! I'm thinking that a hot bath sounds awesome. I wish hot water would melt fat!